Where Does It Hurt?

One of my revered teachers, Tara Brach recently shared an inspiring excerpt from a dharma talk. In it, she referenced an On Being interview where the host, Krista Tippett interviewed Ruby Sales, an African American social activist. Ruby described a "defining moment" for her when she was getting her locks washed. The simple question she asked her locker's daughter summed up over a decade of teachings I'd experienced...

"...my locker’s daughter came in one morning, and she had been hustling all night. And she had sores on her body, and she was just in a state, drugs. So something said to me, “Ask her, ‘Where does it hurt?’” And I said, “Shelly, where does it hurt?” And just that simple question unleashed territory in her that she had never shared with her mother.
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And she talked about having been incested. She talked about all of the things that had happened to her as a child, and she literally shared the source of her pain. And I realized, in that moment, listening to her and talking with her, that I needed a larger way to do this work, rather than a Marxist, materialist analysis of the human condition."

I revisit this question often, and add an important follow-up, "what does that hurt place need?" 

It takes tremendous strength and courage to acknowledge and name the source of our pain. And even more to do things a different way, to effectively heal our hurt. I liken it to giving just the right dose of Vitamin C to someone with scurvy. Freedom and peace are on the other side. 

Deep bows of gratitude to Tara, Ruby, and all the sources of inspiration in our lives. No one walks this path alone...